You might’ve heard the trend on TikTok or Instagram of people entering their “soft girl era” but what’s included in the soft girl era package and who’s allowed to enter?
The last decade saw an uptick of women in their “boss babe” era. Typically working a job, a side hustle, and perhaps raising a family and taking care of the home. All with a smile and a perfectly curated Instagram feed to boot. While it seemed inspirational at the time, who wants to do it all all of the time? Becoming a boss babe turns out to be a recipe for burnout.
This mindset seems to have stemmed from the millennials who were raised by the “pick yourself up by your bootstraps and work” generation. These women who are busting their asses at work are usually also taking on the majority of housework and child-raising. Women get branded superwomen yet don’t always have the tools or resources to sustain that title.
Who could forget famous millennial Kim Kardashians’ line “Get your f**king ass up and work, it’s like no one wants to work these days” as she employs a glam squad, nannies, chefs, housekeepers, assistants, etc.
Now women are starting to look at what’s wrong with this picture. Women are tough but should also allow themselves to be soft, move slowly, and listen to their needs. This is where the slow girl era comes in.
Side note: you don’t have to be a female to enter your soft girl era. It’s more about soft, feminine, yin energy. If you want to participate in this movement feel free.
Feminine Cycles-
Women’s monthly cycles tend to run on an average 28-day cycle. Energy levels peak during ovulation and plummet during the luteal and menstrual phases. Today’s society has pushed women’s natural cycles to the side and made everyone run on the masculine 24-hour cycle. In this patriarchal society, women have been forced to shapeshift into fitting into the masculine world and make it work.
Entering your soft girl era allows you to control how you wish to exert your energy. Practice syncing your cycle with your lifestyle and slow down when you know your energy levels will be lower.
Ask For Help-
Being in your soft girl era can be challenging without any help. Where in your life is it possible for you to delegate tasks to take some things off of your plate? Can you hire help once a week or once a month? Can your spouse be more helpful in certain areas?
Many think they need to be superwomen who can do it all and while you probably can, you shouldn’t have to. Take a moment to see where you can lighten your load. Don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help.
Protect Your Peace-
Protecting your peace is a lot easier said than done. What areas in your life are causing you stress? How can you set boundaries around them so your emotions don’t become frazzled? Protecting your peace doesn’t mean completely avoiding conflict but perhaps creating distance and setting boundaries from those that more often than not disturb your peace.
Create a Safe Space-
How can you turn your home into a safe and calm place to come home to? Incorporate your favourite scents, keep a clean home, and curate a space to practice stretching, meditation, or yoga. Creating a safe place to come home to will help you unwind from stress and slow down allowing you to remain in your soft girl era.
Not For Everyone-
Not every woman wants to be a slow girl. Some enjoy the hustle and bustle and thrive in chaos or a fast-paced environment and that’s okay too. You don’t need to enter your soft girl era if it feels wrong for you.
Feminist-
Some believe that it’s anti-feminist to allow yourself to enter your soft girl era when women have been fighting forever for equal opportunities and respect.
Women should have the choice of how “soft” they want to operate in their life or a certain phase of their life. When women finally entered the workforce it became almost frowned upon if a woman chose to stay home and raise children which is a full-time job on its own. Let’s remember that there’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to enter more of a mothering role if she so chooses and it works for her.
Allowing Your Soft Girl Era-
Here’s the truth… some relationships don’t allow for you to be in your soft girl energy. Whether that be romantic or familial relationships, friendships, or working relationships.
Energy doesn’t lie and sometimes you can’t break down your walls and allow softness around certain people or in certain situations. Learn to discern between what relationships let you become a softer version of yourself and if that feels good to you, prioritize those relationships.
If you want to enter your soft girl era but don’t feel safe to embrace that softness then think about if that’s a relationship you want going forward. Some might value softness over others. If it’s important to you then ask yourself some questions. Can softness be cultivated over time or do you believe that with certain people it’s not possible? Work with a therapist if you can to dig deeper into these questions.
Who is Softness For-
The concept of the soft girl is important for women of colour to cultivate. The stereotypical “strong independent black woman who doesn’t need a man” can get exhausting. Sure you can be strong and independent and not rely on a man, but why can’t you also be soft and value collaboration while allowing yourself to lean on others?
Women of colour have for so long been sold a belief that they need to be tough and do it all themselves without allowing themselves to enter into their softer spirit and ask for help when needed.
In 2024 every woman should throw out the belief that they’re required to hold it all together by themselves all the time. Every woman should strive to attain more softness in their life if they choose to do so.
Slow Down-
It’s tough to live in your soft girl era when you’re always in a rush. Where in your life can you take the time to slow down? Get quiet and get in touch with your intuition.
Practice putting your phone down and indulging in slow activities. Whether that’s creating art, baking bread from scratch, learning to sew, or gardening. What activity do you enjoy that you can put your time, heart, and soul into to anchor yourself into the present moment?
Carve out an hour or two each week to slow down and enjoy a slow-paced activity where you can focus on finding your flow and your inner soft girl.
Self-Care-
When entering your soft girl era you need to make yourself and your well-being a top priority, however that looks like for you. Maybe it’s therapy, working out, nature walks, or face masks. It’s harder to embrace your inner soft girl if you aren’t taking good care of yourself.
Do at least one thing a day to tend to your health and wellness. By focusing on your well-being your inner soft girl will naturally feel more free to come out.
Romanticize Your Life-
Softening yourself can start with something simple like romanticizing your life. Buy yourself flowers, cook yourself a nice meal, and wear your fanciest pajamas just because. Embrace your feminine energy to the fullest by indulging in simple pleasures and luxuries and see how your inner soft girl steps out.
Conclusion-
The current world climate has thankfully seen women taking a moment to pause and think about what’s wrong with our boss-babe hustle culture. While women are still taking on a disproportionate level of household duties, working full-time, and being persuaded to start several side hustles, it’s coming to everyone’s attention that being a boss babe 24/7 can’t be sustainable.
That’s why more and more females are entering their soft girl era. A time when we can step back, ask for help, slow down, and not feel guilty about it. Listen to your body’s natural rhythm and cycle sync, delegate tasks, practice protecting your peace, and turn your home into a safe sanctuary.
Indulge in slow activities, self-care, and romanticize your life. Remember that softness is available for every and all types of women. It might take time and practice but hopefully, you feel free to enter fully into your own soft girl era.
