What feelings come up for you when you hear the term solo date? Similar to a typical date, does it make you nervous, excited, or curious? Here, we’ll explore why embracing the idea of taking yourself on a solo date can be beneficial to your life, mental health, and overall well-being. We’ll also go over ideas that you can use and practice in your life to learn to become confident when you step out into the world solo.
Why Are More People Going Out Solo?
We live in a time we haven’t encountered before. In the past, our communities and villages didn’t leave us much space for alone time. Now with technology, which was intended to fuse us closer together, we find ourselves further apart and more disconnected than ever. Rising costs of everything, multiple jobs, and trying to look aesthetically perfect don’t leave much time for genuine connection. For whatever reason, you find yourself hanging out by yourself, learn how to enjoy your own company.
You might inquire about solo dates for several different reasons. You might be single, are in a new city without a social network, your friends might’ve moved away, you could’ve fallen out with a friend, or you just need some alone time to get to know yourself. Whatever the reason, it’s all valid and can help you learn more about yourself, including your likes, dislikes, and what your ideal life looks like.
Boundaries-
Now that we’ve all become more self-aware, we recognize generational traumatic patterns and are on a constant journey of self-improvement; we’ve begun to hold those around us to a higher standard. What habits and behaviors our mothers, fathers, grandparents, and great-grandparents might’ve swept under the rug, this generation is not willing to engage with. This leaves many preferring to be single and alone rather than in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship.
And how lucky are we to be one of the first generations to have those options? Learning to become comfortable with being alone can save you a lot of trauma and grief in the long run. Accepting certain negative behaviours or hanging out with people you shouldn’t because you’re lonely can cause way more damage than you initially intended.
Awkward-
A big reason why more people don’t do things alone is the fear of being judged. Maybe you think people will think you’re a huge loser because you couldn’t find someone to accompany you to your activity, but that’s BS. Have you ever seen someone solo and judged them for it? Maybe you assumed they were in town for business and kept it pushing.
However, since we live inside our minds, we inflate our own self-importance and believe that everyone is watching us, as if we’re the main character in not only our lives but also everyone else’s lives. More likely than not, people are more concerned with how they’re being perceived than with you enjoying your own company.
Effort-
Just because you’re going out by yourself doesn’t mean you get to slack off. Treat it like a real date. Shower, do your hair, and put on a cute outfit. Spritz your signature perfume, just as if you were meeting a friend or a potential romantic partner. Half the fun of going on any date is getting ready, so make it a ritual to look presentable. You can opt for minimal makeup if you prefer, but simple touches like curling your lashes, putting on clean clothes, and adding a gloss are easy ways to enhance your appearance and feel better.
Solo Dates-
If you feel slightly intimidated on your solo journey, it’s okay to take it slow and ease your way into it. Start with dates that are typically done solo anyway to get comfortable with the idea and routine.
Walk/Hike-
A way to ease into solo dating is by taking yourself on a scenic hike or walk. Find a safe area where you can take in the beauty of nature and trees, such as a forest or garden. Walking is an everyday activity that people can do alone, making it feel less intimidating. If you decide to go on solo hikes or walks, keep your earphones out and remain aware of your surroundings, especially if you’re a woman.
Spa Day-
If you have the extra funds or want to budget and save for it, consider treating yourself to a massage or a spa day. Since spas are usually spaces where silence is encouraged, going alone won’t feel so weird. If a day spa is too much, consider heading to your local nail salon for a mani-pedi solo date.
Coffee Shop-
Coffee shops tend to be filled with solitary patrons. It’s not uncommon to see the majority of tables filled with people either working away on their laptops with their headphones in, studying, or reading a book. Create a list of all the coffee shops in your area or city that you want to explore so that you can find your favorite.
Cultural Attractions-
Take yourself to a museum, art gallery, aquarium, zoo, science centre, or botanical garden. This way, you can walk around and enjoy the scenery. Additionally, since everyone around you is also preoccupied with viewing their surroundings, they won’t be focusing on you. Taking yourself to these kinds of activities allows you to form your own opinions about whatever atmosphere or art you’re immersing yourself in.
Dinner Date-
If you feel comfortable enough, treat yourself to a dinner date at a place you’ve been wanting to try. If you don’t want to feel super out of place, avoid peak dinner times from 6:30 to 8:30. Go a little earlier or later when restaurants are typically a bit slower. Bring a book to occupy the space and give yourself something to do besides scrolling through your phone.
If you don’t feel like sitting at a table, the bar top usually attracts other single individuals. If you’re up for some chatting, the bar top would be your best bet, but if you’re looking for quiet solitude, a table for one would be more your vibe.
Home Cooked Meal-
You don’t always have to leave your house to have a little solo date. You can make yourself your favourite meal in the comfort of your own home. Choose a recipe you know and love or one that you’ve been wanting to try. Purchase your ingredients and maybe add a little sweet treat to your basket, cause why not?
Go home, put on some chill music or your favorite comfort show in the background, light a candle, and maybe pour yourself a glass of wine or make your go-to mocktail, and romanticize the cooking process. If you’re not a great cook, make a charcuterie board and enjoy the ultimate girl dinner.
Workout Class-
Heading to a workout class by yourself is pretty standard, but it can also be another way to get comfortable doing things alone. Head to a yoga, pilates, dance, or HIIT class. Since everyone should be focused on the instructor and their form, there isn’t much time to chat with a friend anyway. If your city offers ClassPass, consider purchasing credits and trying out different types of classes to determine which ones you enjoy the most.
Performing Arts-
Again, this is an activity where everyone’s attention will be on the entertainment and not you sitting by yourself. If you’re looking to minimize discomfort, consider attending a matinee or a weekday show, as they tend to be less busy and crowded than weekend or evening shows.
Solo Travel-
Once you become more comfortable with a solo date, start planning your first solo trip. Perhaps you’d like to go somewhere far away or spend a cozy weekend in the next town over. Either way, plan out your ideal destination and then research all the things you want to see, eat, and do. Instead of waiting for someone else to have free time or extra money, it’s nice to realize that you can see the world on your own time.
Art Class-
Pottery, paint night, or writers workshop. Find a creative hobby, and take a class to learn how to execute it properly. When you attend these types of classes solo, you’ll be able to fully immerse yourself and cultivate your creativity.
Farmers Market-
Head to your local farmers’ market to load up on fresh produce and other goodies. Depending on where you live, outdoor markets typically run from spring through fall. Your city or town may also host indoor markets when the weather gets chilly. Explore your local markets to discover the diverse range of goods available.
Solo Picnic-
Whenever it’s a nice enough day outside, pack your favourite picnic food and head to the beach or a park. Bring the book you can’t put down, and enjoy the fresh air and your own company for a while. You can also spend your time people-watching (in a non-creepy way).
Final Thoughts-
Whatever you’re reason for choosing solitude, whether by choice or by circumstances, you can live your life to the fullest without waiting for someone to tag along. Go on a solo date to get to know yourself on a deeper level, become more confident in your own presence, and release the fear of falling into toxic patterns because you’re scared of being alone.
Be grateful to be alive in this day and age, where you have the option to choose yourself. Fall back in love with yourself and life by experiencing solo dates. You may need to ease into the practice at first by doing activities like walking, visiting a coffee shop, or enjoying a spa day. Once you master the art of being alone, you can test solo dinners, going to the movies alone, and even planning a solo trip. Hopefully, you can use this as a guide to help you get more comfortable with your own company. Comment below and let us know which solo date you plan on taking yourself out on first.
