What are Glimmers?-

Glimmers are a cute little mental health hack that’s made its way into the mainstream over the past few years. You’re probably familiar with the term “triggered” where your body is sent into fight or flight mode due to something reminding your body and brain of a traumatic time or event. While that term has swirled around recently its opposite is glimmers. 

The idea of “Glimmers” was first introduced by Stephen Porges a behavioral neuroscientist in 1995. The term was then coined by author and clinician Deb Dana in her book published in 2018 “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation”.

This theory explores how our automatic nervous system mainly the vagus nerve elicits certain behaviours or reactions. From the time we’re born, we’re constantly scanning our environments and social interactions for cues of safety or danger. Things like the tone of someone’s voice or facial expressions tell us if we’re in a safe environment or not.

Red Flags-

After years of this, our brain and body begin to recognize patterns and red flags. We feel safe in this environment and unsafe when in this environment. This is why when you’re around people you’re close to and comfortable with you’ll feel relaxed. When you’re around new people you might be more on edge trying to scan for signs of danger or trustworthiness.

Living in the world today, especially if you’re a woman, you probably feel like you’re constantly on the lookout for potential threats or danger. While it’s important to stay hypervigilant you’ll also want to counteract these states that your body is consistently in. Being in flight or flight mode too often releases cortisol into the body which isn’t healthy in large doses. 

By looking for glimmers regularly you can help your body to relax and enter into its parasympathetic state aka rest and digest mode. This state is where your senses are less heightened and your body can feel a sense of calm. Just as some people in relationships have trust issues and trouble letting people in, being in fight or flight too often can put you on high alert at all times leading to a tougher time forming genuine connections. 

How Glimmers Work-

Glimmers are the small micro-moments that put a smile on your face and bring you peace and comfort. They’re not the big milestones or celebrations in life. Getting accepted into your dream school, getting engaged, or having a baby are life’s big celebrations.

Glimmers are much smaller than that. It might be when you see a car driving by with a dog’s head sticking out of the window and its tongue flapping in the wind. It might be the first sip of your morning coffee or a rainbow after a thunderstorm. These tiny moments aren’t obvious and might pass you by quickly if you don’t pause to stop and notice them. 

It Only Takes One-

At the end of every day aim to jot down at least one glimmer you noticed during your day. This can be in your notes app on your phone, on a piece of paper, or in a journal. Again, it could be something super small but if it brought a moment of relaxation to your body and a grin on your face then it counts as a glimmer.

You could write down more if you choose but start with at least one. If you have a hard time finding them inside then step outside. Try to find some nature or look up at the sky. You might see a beautiful sunset or sunrise, a familiar shape in a cloud, or the leaves on the trees blooming or changing colours. 

Examples of Glimmers-

Start by writing out a list of as many glimmers as you can think of. This will help you to know exactly what kind of moments you’re looking for so you can notice them more easily. Your list could look something like this: 

1. When you take your clothes out of the dryer and they are warm and smell like fresh laundry
2. When a baby smiles at you
3. When you receive a compliment from a stranger
4. When a close parking spot opens up
5. When you hear your old favourite song in a store
6. You step outside to the perfect weather
7. Someone in front of you at the drive-through pays for your coffee
8. You walk past a bakery and smell freshly baked bread
9. Someone lets you in front of them in traffic
10. You walk into the airport to see no lineups

Don’t look for glimmers in your phone. While Instagram memes of cute babies or animals can count as a glimmer you don’t want to go down a doom scroll and find more bad news than good. One rule is that your glimmers need to be in real life and not through a phone or TV. 

Personal Glimmers-

Everyone’s glimmers are different. Something that is a glimmer to you might be a trigger for someone else. Everyone has different life experiences so don’t write things on your list that you think are a glimmer, pay attention to how your body feels when you think about it or experience it. Does it tense up or does it relax?

This might take some practice as we don’t notice these things outright unless you’re really paying attention. If you’re allergic to cats they’ll probably give you a different reaction than a lady with 3 cats. Start to pay attention to these things so that you have a better understanding of how to send your body into its parasympathetic state.

Practice not Perfection-

Mental health like physical health is a continuous practice. Mental health doesn’t have a finish line it’s something most of us have to work on continuously. Going to therapy, taking your vitamins or medication, being in nature, eating well and physical activity are some ways to ensure that your mental well-being stays up to par.

When you’re experiencing hard times it can be hard to notice the positive things that happen throughout the day and only focus on the negative. That’s why finding at least one glimmer per day can help to stop a negative thought spiral, maybe not completely or maybe not successfully but can help to put a pause and help your mind to remember there are good and positive things in life that can be hard to notice during times of struggle.

Conclusion-

Glimmers are those tiny micro-moments of happiness that relax your nervous system. In a world filled with so much danger and bad news, it’s important that you also notice and appreciate the small moments that occur in life.

While you may be someone who constantly scans for threats and danger, aim to also scan for glimmers throughout your day. If you can, attempt to find and jot down at least one every single day. This can help you to reframe your mindset and stop yourself from spiraling in a negative direction.

Once you consistently find one every day, keep looking for more. Don’t force these glimmers either. If something is a glimmer for someone else but not for you then it’s not a glimmer. Find things that make you happy! Like everything in life, this will take a bit of practice and effort until you begin to notice glimmers all around you. Hopefully, you begin to notice glimmers regularly so that they positively impact your mental well-being.

As always, wishing you peace & tranquility, xo.