What is Self-Love?
The term Self-Love is thrown out so regularly yet many struggle to fully grasp the concept. Of course, we want to love ourselves but modern society has made it more challenging than it should be. Social media gives a platform for perfectly airbrushed models, unrealistic beauty standards, and constant comparisons.
Our unhealed wounds from childhood can have us searching for love in all the wrong places leading us to make unhealthy choices for ourselves. The economy leaves us overworked and burnt out without as much time as we’d like to practice self-care and self-love.
Although not easy, learning self-love is the most important thing you can do for yourself. When you foster a greater sense of self-love it permeates throughout the rest of your life. You’ll have higher standards for yourself and make better and healthier choices mentally, physically, and in relationships.
It’s much more than getting massages and doing face masks. Self-love is a practice that starts from within and lays the foundation on which you base many of your actions, decisions, and how you treat yourself and others. Safe to say it’s pretty important.
Listed below are some ways to help you cultivate a greater sense of self-love.
1. Self-Love Meditation-
We get disconnected from our sense of self-love because of the messages we receive over the years convincing us we’re not good enough. By meditating regularly you learn to quiet the chatter in your mind.
When you notice thoughts as they come up and let them pass by without judgment, over time, you’ll be able to discern what’s true and what’s your negative self-talk trying to interject.
Listed here is a meditation for self-love and compassion. Aim to meditate for 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes daily to reap the full benefits that mindfulness meditation can bring you.
2. Bath-
Complete a full bath ritual. Bring out all the luxurious stops. Include bubbles, bath bombs, candles, a book or music, and a drink of choice.
Add dried rose petals or flowers if you have them. Add a few drops of essential oil in the scents rose, jasmine, vanilla, or sandalwood. Place crystals for self-love on the edge of the tub like rose quartz, lapis lazuli, or moonstone. Soak in the tub and soak in the energy of love from all of the elements surrounding you.
3. Self-Love Affirmations-
Every day when you wake up, repeat your self-love affirmation 5-10 times. You can find them online, make up your own, or use the ones listed below.
-Although the world has its challenges, I choose to keep my heart open.
-I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind, I am pure love.
-Whatever I do, wherever I go, and whoever I interact with today, I will be operating from a place of love.
-I love my entire being, my mind, body, and soul, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.
-I am choosing to radiate love from my inner being for myself and those around me.
4. Date Yourself-
You don’t need to wait for someone to take you to do the things you want to do. Take yourself to that movie you want to see, and try out that new restaurant you’ve been eyeing up. Spend an afternoon in your favourite coffee shop or head to the art exhibit that piqued your interest.
We miss out on many things waiting on someone else. The time you spend with yourself is the most important so treat yourself like you’d want the partner of your dreams to treat you and take yourself on a date once a month.
It doesn’t have to be fancy or extravagant if you don’t want it to be. A simple walk in the park with your favourite coffee can be classified as a solo date.
5. Romanticize your Life-
Buy yourself flowers, wear silk pajamas, and light your expensive candle just because. Cook yourself a romantic dinner just for you because you deserve it.
Treat your life like you’re the star of it. Treat yourself like someone who adores you, because you should feel that way about yourself. YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER.
Treat every day like a special occasion because life and being alive IS the special occasion.
6. Write a Letter-
Do an automatic writing process where you freely write whatever comes to mind for three full single single-spaced pages.
Focus these pages on all the things you love about yourself even if it’s the most minuscule reasons. If you go off on a tangent that’s perfectly fine as long as you return the focus to things you love about yourself.
It might seem a little corny but who cares this is for you and your eyes only.
7. Heart Chakra-
Located in your heart centre the heart chakra is responsible for your self-love, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and self-worth. Throughout your life, these things can take a beating because…life, heartbreak, etc.
Although the heart chakra goes through it, for the above traits to persist you’ll want to keep your heart chakra balanced and open. Learn more about how to heal the heart and your other chakras here.
8. Mental Health-
Practicing good mental hygiene is imperative to having more self-love. This will look different for everyone. It might be practicing affirmations in the morning, journaling, attending therapy, or taking medication.
However it looks for you don’t undermine the link between your mental health and self-love. When your mental health is suffering it can make it much more challenging to feel self-love. Whatever way you need to tend to your mental well-being do that.
9. Move your Body-
Isn’t it annoying how physical activity improves your overall physical, mental, and emotional wellness? Working out consistently is so beneficial for your mental state that regardless of your physical shape it’s worth getting in and staying in the habit of.
Aim to incorporate movement at least 3-5x per week. Mix up the intensity of your workouts as well. Yoga, pilates, HIIT, walking, weightlifting, and kickboxing are just some of the many great options out there. Find a few that are enjoyable enough for you to stick to.
10. Challenge Yourself-
Practicing self-love isn’t all about relaxing. Self-love can be fostered through challenging yourself and realizing that you can rise to the challenges you set for yourself.
Do a cold plunge, try a new activity, write the book you’ve been putting off, set a fitness goal and crush it. When you set challenging goals and keep your promises to yourself to hit them or at least try your absolute hardest, you build up trust in yourself and a sense of accomplishment that you can do whatever you set your mind to.
11. Eat Well-
Practicing self-love becomes easier the better you treat yourself. Fill your diet with mostly colourful, whole, and unprocessed foods.
Eat well not to look a certain way but to nourish all the cells in your body. Don’t get too regimented, let yourself enjoy your unhealthy favs in moderation.
12. Don’t Compare-
Maybe easier said than done but don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone is on a completely different journey and things are not always what they seem. You’re your own unique and special person.
If you find yourself comparing yourself a lot spend less time online. Be happy for others and remember that we can all win. One person’s win doesn’t mean you lose. Every dog has their day.
13. Forgive-
Forgiveness is a huge component of self-love. The most important person you need to forgive is yourself. Forgive your past self for the things you did or said when you were in survival mode.
Forgive yourself for the things you said or did when you didn’t know what you know now. Practice forgiving others for the things they’ve done to you. Apologize when necessary. This might take a lot of journalling or therapy but is more of a long journey than a destination.
Conclusion-
Self-love is a term that gets thrown around a lot yet many people can’t seem to fully grasp the concept. Although you’re born with all the self-love in the world, society, the media, and your past wounds can slowly break it down.
Luckily, your self-love never goes away and is always inside of you but sometimes it takes intentional effort to bring it forth. Practice cultivating your self-love by taking baths, opening your heart chakra, and dating yourself. Begin to romanticize your life, write yourself love letters, and take excellent care of your mental health.
Move your body, eat well, don’t compare yourself to others, and learn to push and challenge yourself. Lastly, forgive yourself and forgive others.
Use the ideas listed here to begin to find your inner self-love. Nurture your relationship with yourself because it’s the #1 most important relationship you’ll ever have.
